Practical Things to do when the Emotions are Overwhelming

Think of the loss like a broken bone. There is pain, and trying to think differently about the pain doesn't really take the pain away- it's ever present. There are things that can be done to lessen the pain while your body mends itself. 

Your emotions are on overload. While your new normal is going to change when we let emotion move through us, it will. When we suppress our emotions, they stick around longer. Eventually the pain will feel less intense, less sharp.

The following items may seem glib- they almost certainly do when said by someone not having your experience. But they may offer a modicrum of relief. Perhaps give them a try. If you have a suggestion I should add, please let me (and others) know.

• Feel your feelings. Cry. Go somwhere where you can safely do it (if that is possible) and scream. If in nature find a branch and smash it on the ground or against a sturdy tree trunk. Let your rage (if present) have form. 

• Don't shield others from your pain, let them be a part of who you are. You can say 'I'm sorry, please don't be afraid of my emotion. I'm okay. All I need is your loving presence. Thank you.' Share with them your feelings, let them see you, let them know it is okay to cry, that you are okay with them seeing you crying. And they will see that you will eventually stop crying and that on the other side your emotions will be different. Your friendship will be stronger for it, and they will know that they can be vulnerable with you also.

• Thank your loved one for what they brought to your life. Feel the things you appreciated about that person.

• *Breathe*

• Do a yoga set. Unwinding the tension in the body can really help (at least with the physical impact of grief). And doing something that takes over the mind for a bit is very helpful.

• Find somewhere beautiful to be where you can be out of the hubbub of life (tv, busy streets, etc). Bring a friend with you if you would like to not be alone.